Tips to help your child (child, adolescent or adult) get out of their depressive disorder
Depression is a mood disorder that affects many people; According to the World Health Organization (WHO), between 8 and 15% of people will suffer from depression at some point in their lives, and in 2020 it was the most prevalent mental disorder worldwide.
When we talk about depression, we are talking about a disorder that involves physical, psychological, behavioral, and cognitive symptoms. In order to be able to diagnose the disorder, it must appear yes or yes, either a sad mood (most of the day) or a loss of interest (apathy) or pleasure (anhedonia).
These two symptoms are added to others, such as: insomnia or hypersomnia, fatigue or decreased energy, inappropriate or excessive feelings of guilt or worthlessness (which can be delusional), etc.
The depression of a child depending on whether he is a child, adolescent or adult
Having a child who suffers from depression is a complex issue, since many times we want to help him and we don’t know exactly how. Before addressing some issues that can help us understand how we can help you, let’s differentiate how depression is expressed in young children, in adolescent children, and in adult children.
Depression in children
- Although some years ago, in the psychological field, it was stated that depression in children did not exist, this has been shown to be wrong. Thus, today it is known that children can also be depressed.
- According to data from the National Health Survey (2006), the prevalence of depression in 9-year-old children is 1.8%. In childhood the gender ratio is the same.
- In children, the symptoms of depression are the same as in adults, except in the mood, which instead of being depressed is usually irritable. On the other hand, other depressive symptoms in children can manifest through: they don’t feel like playing so much, they are more tired than usual, they don’t want to go to school or interact with their peers, etc.
- As parents we can detect the symptoms of depression in our children, but the definitive diagnosis should always be made by a mental health professional.
Depression in adolescents
- In adolescents, depression also appears; some studies state that approximately 4% of adolescents have depression. It is more frequent in girls than in boys and, according to a study by Cárdenas (2010), this disorder is frequently associated with others such as a substance abuse disorder.
- The symptoms of depression in adolescents are the same as in adults. As for the mood, it is usually depressed and not irritable (as it happens with children). In depression, they can suddenly appear more crestfallen, not wanting to go out with friends or go to school, lower their academic performance, etc.
Depression in adults
- Depression is a fairly common disorder in adults. The symptoms vary from one person to another, although what stands out above the rest is usually the loss of pleasure in things that used to make us enjoy (anhedonia), general demotivation and depressed mood.
- If your child is an adult, suffers from depression and you want to help him, the first thing you should do is confirm the diagnosis with a mental health professional. Then encourage him to ask for help or go directly with him if possible. At present, there are many validated psychological therapies for depression, the most effective being behavior therapy and cognitive-behavioral therapy (strategies such as playing or drawing are used in children).
The best tips to help your child with depression
- A child’s depression is a situation that generates a lot of suffering, not only for the child, but for the whole family. It will be important that we naturalize talking about the subject, that it does not become a taboo subject.
- Some ideas to start and that can help you to face this situation, beyond the ones that we will discuss: reinforce your child’s small daily achievements, help him to have responsibilities to fight against his apathy, take great care of ourselves too (help someone with depression wears a lot emotionally) and, above all, do not judge their emotions, accompany them from the full acceptance of what they feel.
- How can I help my child if he is depressed? Now yes, we leave you some key ideas developed:
Ask for professional help
- We always recommend, when faced with a mental health problem, to seek professional help. That is, go to the psychologist and, in serious cases, also to the psychiatrist. Ideally, we select a professional specialized in our child’s age (child, adolescent or adult).
- Putting yourself in the hands of a professional is the first step to always take (after talking to him about the issue, a point that we will address below).
- A mental health professional will offer you the strategies you need to address your symptoms and get better, as well as tools for parents, to improve the disorder in your child. In these cases, it is very important to involve the families and the school so that teamwork can take place.
Talk to him, encourage him to open up
- Although it sounds very obvious, it is not always easy to address this issue with a child. We will have to adapt our language to her age (logically, a small child is not the same as a teenager or an adult).
- Approach the subject in a natural way, at some moment of tranquility and calm, and a comfortable and safe space. Start by asking him how he is and explaining what you have observed (for example, that you see him as sad or apathetic than usual).
- Take an interest in his state of mind, in the things that worry him and in experiences that may have happened to him in recent months. The goal is for him to open up to you and, above all, for him to feel that you are by his side and that you support him. On the other hand, it will also be essential to investigate the possible causes of depression with him/her.
Spend time together
- We insist that attending therapy is the fundamental step in this type of situation, but once the psychotherapeutic process begins, as parents, we can also do things to help our child. One of these actions is spending time with him/her. Propose plans, activities or getaways of her interest that motivate her and like them.
- You can talk to him, ask him directly. In more serious cases of depression, the person does not feel like doing anything at all ; if so, try simpler tasks to start with (for example: go for a walk in the neighborhood). The goal is to get him out of that apathy and to start activating to, little by little, work on other more emotional aspects (from therapy).
Encourage him to express himself
- It is very good that our son finds moments to disconnect from his emotional disturbance (through the previous point); however, expressing how he feels will also be essential. That is why we must find spaces with him so that he can express himself and let off steam and, above all, so that he feels that he can count on us.
- Expressing emotions is the first step to start facing them, finding their meaning and digesting them. This is essential in therapy.
- This point is not always easy (especially in adolescents), because many people shut down and do not want to express what is happening to them. In these cases we should try to find “allies “; the other parent, the sibling, friends…
The importance of adapting to our son
- All these points discussed must be adapted to the age of our child, to his characteristics and needs (also respecting his space) and, above all, to the relationship we have with him.
- If the relationship is warm and close, surely some of these points will be easier for us to apply. On the other hand, in a more distant relationship it will cost us more (in these cases it will be interesting to rely on other family members and the professional who cares for our child).
Depression: a treatable disorder
- Depression is a serious but treatable disorder and it can be cured. Getting out of depression is possible with the right help. As we have seen, psychological therapy is very positive in these cases; sometimes a pharmacological therapy will also be necessary, with the use of antidepressants (currently these are quite safe).
- As always, a specialist professional will be the one who will best guide us in these cases, both psychologically and psychiatrically. If you feel that you need an “extra” dose of help, he will be the one who can offer you appropriate emotional support strategies for your specific case.