Tips to be a little happier at Christmas
Of course, adults do not enjoy Christmas with the illusion of children. Of course, the idealized vision of Christmas that comes to us from the movies does not correspond to reality. But that doesn’t mean we should demonize it and hurt ourselves by taking it as a bad drink.
Given the increase in cases of depression in the Christmas season, we have wondered why Christmas affects our mood so much. The mismatch between the idealized Christmas and the real Christmas cannot be the only reason that depresses us. So we have searched for the causes and how to avoid the Christmas blues.
Causes of depression at Christmas
- We find many causes of depression at Christmas, many reasons to increase sadness, anguish and discouragement, but all these reasons can be overcome if we adopt another point of view. Aspects such as consumerism, the need to give gifts to everyone, going to family, social and work gatherings with the best look and the best smile foster frustration and the desire to disappear.
- Also, there are people who are affected by the hypocrisy that surrounds these Christmas dates. Spending love, affection and kindness seems mandatory and develops a feeling of anguish and helplessness for not being able to meet expectations. There is also a physical factor outside of us that can cause depression at Christmas, which is the lack of light.
- But Christmas depression usually occurs most of the time due to nostalgia and sadness for what is lost. The feeling of loss is evident on these dates and refers to material losses, due to the economic crisis, emotional losses, with the idea that any time in the past was better, and losses of loved ones, whose absence seems more evident at Christmas.
- This feeling of loss refers to all areas of life and is closely related to a common attitude at Christmas: counting. It does not happen only on New Year’s Eve when we make the list of New Year’s resolutions, it happens throughout the Christmas period in which we are recounting not only the year but our entire lives.
- At Christmas we remember our childhood, we remember those who are no longer there, how things have changed. And in addition to remembering, we also reflect and find ourselves with a certain mismatch between what we once expected and what we currently have. It is precisely this mismatch that leads us to a state of hopelessness that, if prolonged over time, can lead us to depression. This set of depressive symptoms, which can appear during Christmas and which are related to the loss of our loved ones, is called “empty chair syndrome”.
How to avoid the Christmas blues
- Although the Christmas depression can become a full-blown emotional disorder or worsen it in the case of a depressive disorder, in most cases it is a significant but temporary emotional downturn. How many times have we wanted to go to bed on December 22 and wake up after Christmas…?
- However, we should not underestimate this depressive state either and it is best to combat it with a positive attitude but, above all, realistic. If our Christmas does not resemble the one presented to us on television, we must accept our reality. Joy, family unity, affection and generosity could be practiced throughout the year. Thus, in addition to feeling happier, we would not consider it a Christmas obligation.
- We have permission to innovate, create and transform any of the traditions that do us the most harm. Maybe we can’t run away from the company dinner, but surely there are a lot of Christmas commitments that we can avoid. The important thing is not to please others at the cost of our emotional stability, but to be happy enough to show love and affection naturally.
Change your Christmas so you don’t get depressed
- It seems quite clear that when a formula does not work for you, it is best to change it, but can Christmas be changed? Of course you can and to do so it is not necessary to eliminate the Christmas essence. You can start by physically changing places, that is, do you always celebrate Christmas in the same house?
- If you go to your parents’ house for Christmas Eve every year, it might be a good time to change the scenery. Why don’t you all meet this year at your house or your sister’s house? Alternating the order in which you will spend each special date with your parents or with your in-laws is also a good idea. And breaking with everything is also an option, how about a trip to a tropical island without a trace of snowflakes?
- We only propose some ideas, because each family is different and some things can be changed and others cannot. The tradition of gifts, which causes so many headaches when you are not in the best economic situation, can also be transformed. Making the invisible friend in the family instead of having to buy gifts for everyone is something that everyone will appreciate, no matter how splendid their checking account is.
- More proposals, how about a Mindfulness exercise to connect with the present moment, with the Christmas you are living at this very moment and not suffer from Christmas past or the expectations you had? To connect with the present moment to value more what you have around you and, above all, you can add gratitude to the people you have by your side for everything you have, for everything you have achieved and for all the people that are in your life
- What do we do with absences? What do we do with the memory of those loved ones with whom we used to share Christmas and now they are gone? Paying tribute to these people does not have to become something painful, quite the contrary. Placing an object of the person who is missing this year on the Christmas tree or even an old photograph is a detail that the whole family will also appreciate.
- If we talk about depression, these are big words and it is a medical problem that must be treated by professionals. But if we are talking about feeling depressed at Christmas, the best way to combat it is with cooperation. You can involve everyone in the preparation of these parties, involve yourself, organize gymkhanas at home to keep the little ones entertained and propose a radically different menu in which everyone participates.
- You can research the different ways of celebrating Christmas around the world to incorporate traditions from other places. You can make it a rule to read a poem before opening each gift, just like they do in Latvia, for example. Or you can even recover the old tradition of sending Christmas cards to your acquaintances, so you make sure you keep your head busy in the days before and the truth is that today it is quite a novelty. News always brings a breath of fresh air and distracts from worries precisely because you can’t act on autopilot.
- I’m sure everyone appreciates a change of scenery or modifying the usual family traditions and rituals a bit. Because Christmas depression is so common, many members of your family are going to find themselves in the same downturn as you, so why not share? After all, sharing is also part of that famous Christmas spirit.