I feel lonely and sad, what can I do? Important keys

Sharing your loneliness and going to a therapist can help you

One of the most outstanding qualities of human character is being social, so it is perfectly normal to feel sad when we are alone. But, what happens when that feeling of loneliness invades us and makes us feel very bad, even when surrounded by people?

Being alone and feeling lonely are not the same, and it is important to keep this in mind. If the feeling of loneliness lasts for a long time (even if you enjoy it), unpleasant emotions can develop that make you feel bad. If you feel lonely and sad, what can you do? In this article we give you some very important keys.

Why do I feel lonely and sad?

• The reasons why you may be experiencing sadness and a feeling of loneliness are very varied. And it is that this responds to a large number of factors that influence your life: your interpersonal relationships, how is your self-esteem, factors related to genetics, your thoughts and emotions, etc., just to mention a few of them.
• Added to this is the way in which you perceive what happens to you, since as much or more important than what happens in our lives is the way in which we see it and the attitude we take in the face of the various circumstances.
• Being alone should not necessarily be a bad thing, because loneliness can become something positive, a perfect opportunity to work on yourself.
• Am I lonely or am I alone?
• It is important that you learn to distinguish between these two points that sometimes we tend to confuse. Feeling alone is not the same as being really alone.
• When we experience states of sadness it is common to isolate ourselves, and this in turn makes us feel more and more alone. It is important that you take some time to determine if the loneliness you feel is really true or if it is just your perception.
• Experiencing loneliness is something that all people experience at some point, and this does not necessarily have to become something negative; quite the contrary, solitude can be the perfect opportunity to learn to know and listen to each other, it can even be a highly motivating factor for personal growth.
• To find out if this feeling of loneliness is only something perceived and not an undeniable reality, you need to do some introspection. Evaluate if the loneliness you feel is due to the type of relationships you would like to have. It is possible that you are not alone and that it is just that your expectations regarding interpersonal relationships are not met.
• You also need to be honest with yourself about how you feel about it. Pay attention to your thoughts regarding loneliness, because your perception of what happens to you depends to a large extent on them.
• If you associate it with something negative, depressing and full of sadness, or if you can turn it around and see it from a different perspective in which loneliness is a valuable growth opportunity, a time to meet yourself.

What can I do if I feel lonely and sad?

If you feel lonely and sad there are some things you can do to help you understand what you are experiencing and lessen the unpleasant sensations:

1. Identify what you feel

• The main thing is to take the time to identify your feelings and thoughts about being alone, even to question if you are really lonely or if it is just a perception.
• Before spending time looking for a solution to not feel alone and sad, it is important that you investigate the root of this issue. Being able to determine the cause of your discomfort is essential to be able to find an answer. Also, it is necessary that you do not fight against what you feel, allow yourself to live and experience what happens.

2. Talk helps

• One of the most effective strategies to free yourself from sadness is to talk about your feelings and thoughts. You can do this with someone you trust, but if you don’t have a friend to vent to, don’t worry; you can seek professional help.
• And even if you have trusted close friends, sometimes it is easier to talk about it with third parties, outside the regular dynamics of our lives. In this sense, the guidance of a therapist or counselor may be the key to helping you feel better. Always seek help from qualified personnel.

3. Physical activity helps

• When we feel sad, our energy drops, and a simple but effective way to solve this situation is through physical activity. Be careful, you don’t need to run a marathon to feel good; with just 30 minutes a day of some type of exercise, your brain secretes the hormones associated with well-being.
• We recommend doing an activity that you like, and preferably outdoors. The vitamin D that the sun gives you also helps to improve your mood. It doesn’t have to be any particular type of sport or workout, it can even just be going for a walk.

4. Give happiness, give happiness

• One of the things you can do to prevent the feeling of sadness and loneliness from advancing and causing you great discomfort is to dedicate part of your time to activities that help other people.
• No matter how big or small your action is, helping always generates a feeling of well-being and fulfillment in our souls, and what better way to feel good than by bringing a little joy to other people.

What should you avoid to stop feeling lonely and sad?

• One of the most frequent mistakes that we make when we are sad or feel bad is to look for something that will help us to solve the problem, without inquiring into the causes. This sometimes means looking for literature that can help us, and that is where self-help texts often appear, those that abound in bookstores. Although they are easy to get and there are thousands of titles available, you must be very careful with them because, generally, in these cases, they tend to have a counterproductive effect.
• This happens because we start reading with the best disposition trying to improve and feel good; we follow step by step everything indicated to “achieve happiness”, and when we notice that despite this we continue to feel bad, a new sense of frustration is added to our discomfort. Also, keep in mind that:
• It is important to pay due attention to what happens to us. The worst thing we can do is ignore or try to minimize what we feel. Listen to yourself, pay attention to everything that is happening to you and identify that loneliness that is causing you so much sadness. As we said a few lines above, this will be key.
• It is not easy to be honest with yourself, but keep in mind that loneliness presents you with a golden opportunity so that you can get to know yourself better, understand yourself, forgive yourself, accept yourself and love yourself.
• And finally, we recommend you contact a specialist therapist to help you navigate these moments that can become quite complex.
• Do you feel lonely and sad? Cheer up, everything can go really well! From this you will learn, you will grow and you will come out stronger than before.