Do you want to help someone suffering from depression? DO NOT say these words…
With our best intentions, we try to help that person with depression without knowing that we may be harming them with some phrases or advice. Depression is a disease surrounded by a lot of misunderstanding and where we see a motivating phrase, the person with depression can see a reproach or a message of discouragement. Be careful with these phrases that you should not say to people with depression because they can do a lot of damage.
Words that hurt someone with depression
They come out almost by themselves, words that people repeat over and over again to people with depression, to sick people who are in a well from which, for the moment, they cannot get out. Phrases that sink that person more if possible, that fill them with guilt and a feeling of inadequacy. Because I cannot?
“Animate”
- It is one of the most repeated phrases when you see your best friend, your partner, your sister or your mother having a bad time. “Cheer up”, you say with the best intentions, but don’t you think that if he could cheer up he would?
- Change this phrase that ends up being empty for a hug, for a “you can count on me” or for a “tell me what you need” and you will see how that is how he does gradually cheer up.
“You have to go out more”
- Another piece of advice or recommendation that is basically right but that a person with depression cannot carry out. Depression incapacitates, steals your strength, energy and knocks you down on the sofa or in bed. That person can’t go out right now, he has no strength.
- So if you want to help her, you better shake her hand and say “let’s go for a walk, we’ll be right back”. Maybe the company can beat the inability to move from home. Or maybe not, remember that you should never press.
“I don’t know why you are like this, if you don’t have any problem”
- A disease like depression does not need obvious reasons to destroy a life. It is not necessary to have financial or health problems or be grieving the death of a loved one. Sometimes it happens without that person having big problems in their life.
- If you say this phrase, you are making the person with depression feel guilty for not knowing how to take advantage of what they have in life, for not being able to enjoy it. And trust us, it’s the last thing he needs to hear because he does have a problem: depression.
“There are people who are worse off than you”
Yes, there will always be someone who is in worse circumstances, but the only thing that matters to a person with depression at the moment are their problems, those of the rest are not going to make theirs disappear.
“You think too much”
You also hear a lot “you think about everything a lot” or “don’t think so much”. And this is heard by people with depression and people with anxiety problems on a daily basis. It does not benefit them at all, on the contrary, it is a phrase that places the focus of responsibility on the person who is suffering.
“Life is so”
We all know that life isn’t fair, but that doesn’t comfort a person with depression. She can’t control her feelings no matter how much she knows that life sometimes puts us in extreme situations.
“It’s that you don’t do your part”
- Seeing how a person you love spends months and months suffering can lead you to say this devastating phrase. Overcoming a depression takes time, it is not done from one day to the next and where you do not see any progress, the person who is experiencing it sees a tremendous effort every day and, with luck, small improvements or imperceptible advances for others.
- Never underestimate a person with depression, because you don’t know what work they are doing inside to get out of that situation. Surely you want him to recover as soon as possible, but you cannot force the times.
“You do not know how I understand you”
As much as you have also gone through a depression, each person is different and the situations (however similar they are) do not affect everyone equally.
“You’re Getting Me Down”
If you are supposed to be a friend of that depressed person, what is the use of giving him your support and then telling him that he is making you depressed with his story? If you really want to help him, that’s not the way.
“Tomorrow you will see everything much clearer”
Depression is not a disease that passes overnight. Having depression does not mean having a bad day. With this phrase, the only thing you will achieve is to put excessive pressure on the person who suffers from it, something that of course will not help them at all to overcome it.
“Don’t worry, life goes on”
Of course life goes on but the light inside the tunnel doesn’t look so easy.
How to help a person with depression
- These are just some of the phrases or advice that are commonly given to people with depression and that do not help at all. If you really want to help a person who is having a hard time, start by not downplaying their situation. Depression is a disease.
- Continue not to say phrases that can make her feel guilty about her situation, because depression is not chosen. And continue to hold out your hand for that person to grab you when they feel ready.
- To help a person suffering from depression, you don’t have to understand everything, but you do have to trust that person, respect their timing and let them know that they are not alone, that you are there for whatever they need.
- And lastly, burn it into your head: depression is never EVER a choice.